Two and a half years ago I met my Danish lush bearded boyfriend while working on a project in Stockholm. He was intense and funny, and I fell for him like a little a little kitty trying to balance on the laundry basket edge...Read More
The other day I came across something rather upsetting about myself. I realized that even though i have all these big dreams and wishes, my belief that they actually could ever come true was on a bit of a shaky ground . It was one of those “Shit, have I lost my belief? When did that happen, and where did I leave it?”.
I remembered a blog post I read many years ago (that I can't find anymore ugh) that was about making your own magic spell list...Read More
Look, I'm not a perfectionist when it comes to many things in life. I rarely shave my legs regularly (even in the Summer), I'm really lazy when it comes to putting the lid back on things, and if you'd see the chaos in our fridge you'd understand why my boyfriend thinks I'm a messy little piggy.
But, one thing I am quite perfectionist with is my creative work. That's why, even though I must have snapped thousands of photos last year, a very small fraction of them actually made the cut...Read More
When I was a little girl I had this habit of hanging from my Dad's pockets like a little monkey. I remember how much fun it was to to feel that thrilling sensation of floating off the ground as we walked down the streets of Helsinki together, up up up and away!
But as I grew bigger the pockets started to look more and more sad from all of my monkey business, and slowly but surely the the seams started to break and unravel. And so to my...Read More
Right now the only thing I know for certain is that In 3 months time I will be living in a new home in a different country. But, the thing I don't know is where in the world that will be. So, the year 2018 definitely seems like it could turn into an interesting one.
I moved to Sweden 2 years ago because I fell in love, yup the oldest tale in the book :), and the reason we've stayed in Stockholm...Read More
We're here again. I've got my head buried in a pile of pillows on the couch and I'm taking short intense breaths. On the inside I feel like smashing something to pieces and jump and run and scream really loud all at the same time.
Yet, I remain completely still on the couch, like a bag of potatoes (style note: not one of those boring brown colored bags of potatoes, but one with a floral pink pyjamas and fluffy grey sweater). Yes, this my friend, is what my creative frustrations and failures look like...Read More
So we've all heard it a million times, "Follow your heart, dream big, make it happen!", "Be the girl who decided to go for it!", and so on. Growing up I always thought that in order to become successful you have to choose one thing and stick with it. Like so many others I believed that going after your dreams meant completely devoting yourself to that one special thing, and that straying away from that chosen path was a sign of weakness and lack of determination...Read More
I've noticed that people have a tendency to define themselves by the things they're against or don't like. Somebody asks what kind of music you listen to and instead of getting excited about all the awesome stuff in your Spotify library you start talking about the kinds of music that annoys you or that you don't like. Sound familiar? In my case this kind of thinking is often the case, and that's why I decided to share four of my favorite moments from October that define me by things I really love and get excited about. And so naturally, the first picture is cake.
1. Sweet Things
I've always had a weakness for sweet things, and even though I'm much more adult about how much sugar I eat now than as a child (I only had this cake for my second breakfast, so you see how responsible my eating habits are now), life is much better because chocolate cake exists. Simple yet brilliant.
Flowers are the true masters when it comes to color, and I love to bring some home especially in the darker months of the year.
Luna the cat gives me so much joy. It's a dream come true to have a fluffy little friend to call my own and I feel so lucky that I get to take care of such a sweet and beautiful creature.
4. Sharing my thoughts
In October I've really enjoyed scribbling down a lot of my thoughts and gotten into the habit of writing a little almost every day. Now my laptop might not be of the latest model, and I certainly get some confused looks from others when I walk into a café occupying at least two tables while getting some writing done. But you know what they say, "if you don't fit in, you're probably doing the right thing".
What things that you love define you?
In the last month I've had three big engagement spikes in the social media world, or to be more precise, on Instagram.
The first one happened when my picture got featured on Instagram's own page, you can read more about that here, and the second spike happened a few weeks ago when a picture of mine got over a 10,000 likes that resulted in over a 1000 new followers in one day, which are HUGE numbers by my standards. Then just a few days ago my picture got featured again (!?!) by Instagram as part of the weekends hashtag project.
Now that means my pictures got featured twice in a one month, which is absolutely insane and makes my socks wiggle and swirl around and do all kinds of fancy moves from excitement. And, even though the true joy of sharing creative work online lies in the connections and feeling of being part of a community much more than looking at the numbers, it does undoubtedly feel good to get validation that what I'm putting out in the world is resonating with people.
But, as I was dancing in the disco ball light of the online world, there was another peculiar feeling that hit me, namely a weird sense of passiveness. A feeling I wasn't quite prepared for.
Suddenly the engagement on my account skyrocketed without me actively doing anything, which immediately made me question, should I be doing something? It felt weird to passively stand by and see how the likes and new followers kept rolling in even though I wasn't actively doing anything right at that moment, I become almost like an outside witness to the whole thing And then an ambiguous fear started to creep in, maybe this would all be taken away from me if I didn't do something to show that I've truly earned it? Could I just lean back and allow myself to enjoy this moment and let go of my own fate? Just trust that my destiny is in the safe hands of the universe while I kick back for a moment?
Ok, so maybe I'm being slightly over dramatic here, it is after all only Instagram we're talking about. However, I think these feelings might be common when it comes to reacting to a small breakthrough of some sort. When that moment something you've wanted to happen for a really long time finally does come true, you start being afraid of losing it if you allow yourself to enjoy it too much. How can celebrating our victories be so difficult while talking about our struggles seems to come so naturally?
For me personally this might partly be due to the fact that I'm much more used to the feeling of trying really hard without really knowing if what I'm doing is going to resonate with anyone else or if it's any good. So the feeling of success is just kinda, strange.
While I'll continue to practice celebrating my successes without becoming numb and terrified, I'll remind myself that feeling like I'm failing is actually not a bad thing at all. On the contrary, whenever I feel like I'm failing or not achieving what I want I start to work that much harder. Whenever I'm feeling dissatisfied with my work I kick in another gear and start pouring all my effort and energy into it which I probably wouldn't do if I would feel confident and safe.