I don't know if it's the fact that I'm going to turn 30 next year or if it's because I recently graduated from university, but I've never worried about my future as much as this past year. On Wednesday I found a break from all that worrying in a surprising place though, the Gröna Lund amusement park.
I haven't been to one of those in many years, and honestly, I've never been a huge fan of going in all those topsy turvy machines and trains and stuff so my expectations weren't that high.
But the experience of being at Gröna Lund brought back the childlike feeling of being completely filled up with spontaneous joy. It was so liberating to feel the rush of excitement from riding a tiny blue train through a dark tunnel filled with mechanical puppet monsters and ghosts.
Never thought I would find a good reason to quote a Christmas song, especially not in the middle of September, but these lines really came to mind as I was writing this.“And all the lights are shining/ so brightly everywhere/ And the sound of children's / Laughter fills the air”. The children's excitement was genuinely contagious and I soaked up all that good stuff like a sponge.
I went all giggly in the house of funny mirrors, which, actually was kinda lame because the concept is so simple, but even more brilliant exactly because of that! No fire works and cool sound effects, just some bendy mirrors. For those few popcorn munching hours I let go of all the pressure and worries.
On the way home I could feel how that goofy little person was fully alive in my body again, not just as a memory in my head. At the age of 8 I wrote a document where I stated that when I grow up I would have a pool, be a millionaire and have glasses (still working on the first two points but at least I can check the box on the last one). But so yeah, fair to say that I didn't have any limiting beliefs about my abilities, the concept of post education anxieties and career goals were still distant back then.
Growing up as part of generation Y has been confusing because of the constant contradictions. On the one hand we have all these possibilities to become whatever we want with more freedom of choice than ever before, at the same time we live in bleak financial times where lack of money seems to be the excuse for every issue in society. How do you cope with these mixed messages? i honestly don't know, and I think everyone just tries to solve it on a personal level. Which makes everyone even more focused on themselves and their worries, in these individualistic times where so much focus is put on the success of the individual.
As a child the boundaries of grown up life and the notion of mortality aren't present. Everything is possible when you are young, and going to the amusement park reminded me of that. Worrying is probably an inevitable part of life to some extent, but I'm going to try and balance it out adding a good portion of childish hope back into the mix. This grown-up-worrying-mush ain't really doing it for me in terms of living a good life.